It's quiet tonight, here in our house. Aaron is at his bi-weekly review class and is gone all evening. You'd think I would be used to it by now since he spent the majority of September on a work trip Outside. I love having him home again, but I certainly don't mind some quiet time either after a long day at work.
Unfortunately, all this down time over the last month has left me with too much time to think. About work, about family, about my health and our future. I've written this post several different times, several different ways. And even though I know that I am one of the very few people to read it, it doesn't make it any easier to say or admit. I'm sick. I have an incurable disease and I have to learn to deal with it.
I've been diagnosed with Crohn's disease, a gastrointestinal autoimmune disorder. I've always known I have the risk to develop it due to the fact that my dad has it. But that doesn't mean I thought I currently have it. When I was diagnosed in June, it was a bit of a shock. Up until recently, that shock was still there most days and I didn't have to constantly think about it. I've been able to separate my wound issue (which began all this medical drama) from the actual Crohn's issue. Over the last ten days though, I'm coming to the larger realization that I'm affected by this cruel disease. I've had a lot of abdominal pain, back pain, and general discomfort. One of the medications I'm on could potentially affect my both my pancreas and my liver. This pain really showed my that I no longer just "have patients" at work but I am now "a patient." I finally broke down and admitted I needed copies of my medical record. All 250+ pages.
It's been mostly an emotional Crohn's journey until now. If I didn't have this wound issue, I could almost ignore all my physical symptoms. Forget the present and talk mostly of the "what if's" of the future. But when I was curled in a ball the other night, crying into Aaron's shoulder about not wanting to be sick anymore, I realized I will have to deal with this now. Not in my future. And that meant calling the doctor and giving up on being the tough one for this round.
The good news is I had an ultrasound today that showed my pancreas, liver, gallbladder, kidneys, and spleen are all normal in appearance. That was a big relief. I've seen patients with pancreatitis and I didn't want to be dealing with that and the major medication change that would accompany it. The bad news is now we just wait and see what my pain does for the next week. Hopefully, when I have an infusion on Monday, that will help clear up a lot of the pain and discomfort. But until this goes away, I'm reminded that patience has never been my strong suit....
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Home Improvement Style
Every break-up, the side shed on our garage floods. Standing water, everything wet, pain to clean up, flood. (We don't store anything on the ground anymore that can't handle getting wet!!) So, over the last several months, Aaron worked on a plan to correct our drainage from the backyard. Basically, it involved a few engineers, a backhoe to dig a huge hole, a whole load of gravel, and countless wheelbarrow loads back and forth across the yard. All in all, it was a day full of lots of hard work but hopefully the french drain will work wonderful this coming spring! (And Aaron and Shawn definitely enjoyed the time to play in big machinery!)
I was errand girl, so I didn't get a picture of the giant hole with the barrel and rocks in it....it was filled before I got back. And, I've yet to get an "after" picture. Considering there are now leaves everywhere.....it probably won't happen any time soon!
Over Labor Day weekend, we headed north to our friends' property. They are beginning work on their cabin and we went up to give them some help. They rented a lot of heavy machinery for several days and were working in the foundation and the driveway. Aaron had a great time driving the excavator and back hoe and helping install the foundation tubes. Shawn and DJ had some family come help on Sunday and we all had a good time, even though it POURED almost all weekend!
*Smookie: a combination between a s'more and a cookie! Toast a marshmallow, and warm two chocolate chip cookies, combine, eat the wonderful creation! Be prepared for a sticky mess though.
I was errand girl, so I didn't get a picture of the giant hole with the barrel and rocks in it....it was filled before I got back. And, I've yet to get an "after" picture. Considering there are now leaves everywhere.....it probably won't happen any time soon!
Over Labor Day weekend, we headed north to our friends' property. They are beginning work on their cabin and we went up to give them some help. They rented a lot of heavy machinery for several days and were working in the foundation and the driveway. Aaron had a great time driving the excavator and back hoe and helping install the foundation tubes. Shawn and DJ had some family come help on Sunday and we all had a good time, even though it POURED almost all weekend!
 |
| Mattie's vantage point. |
 |
| Delicious kabobs! |
 |
| Making "smookies" in the pouring rain. |
*Smookie: a combination between a s'more and a cookie! Toast a marshmallow, and warm two chocolate chip cookies, combine, eat the wonderful creation! Be prepared for a sticky mess though.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Summer Fun
Fall is without a doubt here and has been for several weeks here in Alaska! We had a busy summer including lots fishing, hanging out with our dog Mattie, family visitors, house projects, camping, and a a host of other activities. Of side note, it was a very wet summer so I can't exactly add much soaking the sun to that list!
 |
| Not posed! |
 |
| I just love all of these flowers! |
 |
| One of my gorgeous tulips! |
Fishing with the Bolstridge Family.
John, Emily, Lincoln, and Olivia
 |
| My buddy Lincoln |
 |
 |
| My Alaskan Fisherman |
 |
| Beautiful Olivia |
 |
| Like father, like son! |
 |
| Smoking salmon. |
 | ||||||||||
| The open door is like a cat T.V. |
 |
| Thanks to the poor summer, my dahlia was very late blooming! |
 |
| Such a crazy dog! |
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Vows
Last night, we watched the movie The Vow for the first time. And I'm not ashamed to say that I am currently re-watching it while Aaron is out with friends :-) There is something about this movie that resonates with me. I don't mind the "chick flick" movies, although my favorites are ones with a little more action. However, that's not the say that I don't appreciate a good movie or book! And add in a few extra points if it is based on a true story.
Beyond all the superficial Hollywood "boy and girl meet, fall in love, get married, disaster happens, they fall apart, they get back together, etc" there is a deeper story here. What would you do if you woke up and didn't remember your life? Your loved ones? Who you are? How would you cope? And what would you do if that was your loved one? Most of us promise in our wedding vows to be with each other in both sickness and in health. But what if that sickness means the person you love doesn't even remember who you are, let alone one moment of your relationship. I can't even fathom the pain involved for such a situation. Knowing that this was based on a real couple's story, it seemed even more realistic than a lot of the other Hollywood movies. Would I pursue Aaron with everything I could if he were to forget me? Would I stay true to my vows that I made? My head and my heart say yes right now, but if I were put in that situation, I can only pray I would act in the same way. And what if I were the one who forgot? Would I honor the vows I made if I couldn't even remember them?
I know that the original couple were disappointed that their strong Christian faith wasn't evident in the movie like it was in their real lives. But I personally think that you can see undercurrents of it throughout the movie. Especially with Leo, the husband. The way he refuses to give up on Paige, even when she can't remember their past relationship and seems unwilling to pursue a new one, speaks of a deeper love. In fact, it reminds me of the deepest love of all. God will pursue us as long and far and wide as we run. He won't ever quit and for that I am eternally grateful. To be so undeserving of a commitment like that and yet receive it is hard for me to get my human mind wrapped around. His is the fiercest love of all and I am the recipient! And it's even better than the commitments Aaron and I made to each other.
"I vow to fiercely love you, in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love."
Those are such true words that each one of us should never forget and strive to live out each and every day that we have been given. I vow to God to never forget His love for me and to follow His example in return. To live and love each day being the best woman I can be. I also vow to Aaron to love him in every way possible, no matter where our life together goes, no matter how difficult the tough times might be.
Beyond all the superficial Hollywood "boy and girl meet, fall in love, get married, disaster happens, they fall apart, they get back together, etc" there is a deeper story here. What would you do if you woke up and didn't remember your life? Your loved ones? Who you are? How would you cope? And what would you do if that was your loved one? Most of us promise in our wedding vows to be with each other in both sickness and in health. But what if that sickness means the person you love doesn't even remember who you are, let alone one moment of your relationship. I can't even fathom the pain involved for such a situation. Knowing that this was based on a real couple's story, it seemed even more realistic than a lot of the other Hollywood movies. Would I pursue Aaron with everything I could if he were to forget me? Would I stay true to my vows that I made? My head and my heart say yes right now, but if I were put in that situation, I can only pray I would act in the same way. And what if I were the one who forgot? Would I honor the vows I made if I couldn't even remember them?
I know that the original couple were disappointed that their strong Christian faith wasn't evident in the movie like it was in their real lives. But I personally think that you can see undercurrents of it throughout the movie. Especially with Leo, the husband. The way he refuses to give up on Paige, even when she can't remember their past relationship and seems unwilling to pursue a new one, speaks of a deeper love. In fact, it reminds me of the deepest love of all. God will pursue us as long and far and wide as we run. He won't ever quit and for that I am eternally grateful. To be so undeserving of a commitment like that and yet receive it is hard for me to get my human mind wrapped around. His is the fiercest love of all and I am the recipient! And it's even better than the commitments Aaron and I made to each other.
"I vow to fiercely love you, in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love."
Those are such true words that each one of us should never forget and strive to live out each and every day that we have been given. I vow to God to never forget His love for me and to follow His example in return. To live and love each day being the best woman I can be. I also vow to Aaron to love him in every way possible, no matter where our life together goes, no matter how difficult the tough times might be.
Monday, July 30, 2012
July
While July hasn't brought the wonderful summer weather we were hoping for, we stayed very busy anyhow!
We went dip-netting for the first time this year. My co-worker Chad invited us to go with him and his family. I am so grateful for all the help they gave us and all the tips and tricks he taught us. We were able to stay in another co-worker's cabin which was way better than the tent we were planning on. It was an exhausting trip to the mouth of the Kenai and back, but we were so blessed to come home with 34 fish! We thought we had reached our 35 limit but miscounted at some point. I'd rather be one short than one over! If you get caught with extra fish, it is a $100 per fish fine plus they can seize your whole catch. Definitely not something I want to do! I wish I had been able to get pictures of each part of the trip, but it just doesn't work out too well when your hands are covered in fish and you are working so fast you don't even have time to eat. Maybe next year I'll try and do better! :-)
Aaron and Chad in the water.
My first fish!! (It was still moving at this point haha!)
The products of our first dip net trip!
We also were able to finally replace the carpet upstairs in our house. It involved ripping all the old carpet out ourselves, getting the help from various friends to help move furniture around, painting the ceilings, and touch-up all those wall spots you find a year later!
Mattie doesn't appreciate home improvements when it involves moving her bed around.
She is an engineer's dog...
Ike loves when the beds begin to look like this! He does it EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!
We might have a few things put into the den....
My goal this summer was to run in some of the various races around the area. But due to my ongoing health, that just wasn't an option. Instead, we decided to run in the 300 yard Running with the Bears at the annual Bear Paw festival. I figured I could do that far anyhow! We ended up running with our little friends (who looked WAY cooler than we did!!) and that made it quite the memory! Plus, I realized later that it was Aaron's first race. So that was very cool too.
We went dip-netting for the first time this year. My co-worker Chad invited us to go with him and his family. I am so grateful for all the help they gave us and all the tips and tricks he taught us. We were able to stay in another co-worker's cabin which was way better than the tent we were planning on. It was an exhausting trip to the mouth of the Kenai and back, but we were so blessed to come home with 34 fish! We thought we had reached our 35 limit but miscounted at some point. I'd rather be one short than one over! If you get caught with extra fish, it is a $100 per fish fine plus they can seize your whole catch. Definitely not something I want to do! I wish I had been able to get pictures of each part of the trip, but it just doesn't work out too well when your hands are covered in fish and you are working so fast you don't even have time to eat. Maybe next year I'll try and do better! :-)
 |
| The beautiful hand-built cabin we stayed in. |
 | ||
| The wonderful view....at 4 A.M. |
 |
| Chad getting ready to get in the water. |
Aaron and Chad in the water.
My first fish!! (It was still moving at this point haha!)
The products of our first dip net trip!
We also were able to finally replace the carpet upstairs in our house. It involved ripping all the old carpet out ourselves, getting the help from various friends to help move furniture around, painting the ceilings, and touch-up all those wall spots you find a year later!
Mattie doesn't appreciate home improvements when it involves moving her bed around.
She is an engineer's dog...
Ike loves when the beds begin to look like this! He does it EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!
 |
My goal this summer was to run in some of the various races around the area. But due to my ongoing health, that just wasn't an option. Instead, we decided to run in the 300 yard Running with the Bears at the annual Bear Paw festival. I figured I could do that far anyhow! We ended up running with our little friends (who looked WAY cooler than we did!!) and that made it quite the memory! Plus, I realized later that it was Aaron's first race. So that was very cool too.
Miss Lily and her parents came over for dinner and Cole's birthday cake. Plus, it was the perfect opportunity for Lily to go swimming for the first time!! (In Alaska, that means the hot tub, even in summer!) She was so funny and absolutely loved being in the warm water.
June
June 19 marked our second wedding anniversary. In some ways I can't believe how the time has passed by and where we were just a few days ago.
June 2008 Aaron graduated from OIT with his Engineering degree and then moved to Alaska.
June 2009 I graduated from OIT with my Nuclear Medicine degree and moved to Alaska that fall.
June 2010 We got married!!! So many details went into planning and orchestrating that day but it went so well and we have so many beautiful memories.
June 2011 We celebrated our first wedding anniversary and that same weekend adopted Mattie.
June 2012 We both have great jobs, have been married two years, are homeowners, and round out our family with a loving dog and crazy cat.
Unfortunately, at the end of June, we also received the unpleasant diagnosis about my health (which is a whole post on it's own). But we are learning to rely on each other more than before and trust that God has a perfect plan in place for our future, even though it is scary and depressing right now.
June 2008 Aaron graduated from OIT with his Engineering degree and then moved to Alaska.
June 2009 I graduated from OIT with my Nuclear Medicine degree and moved to Alaska that fall.
June 2010 We got married!!! So many details went into planning and orchestrating that day but it went so well and we have so many beautiful memories.
June 2011 We celebrated our first wedding anniversary and that same weekend adopted Mattie.
June 2012 We both have great jobs, have been married two years, are homeowners, and round out our family with a loving dog and crazy cat.
Unfortunately, at the end of June, we also received the unpleasant diagnosis about my health (which is a whole post on it's own). But we are learning to rely on each other more than before and trust that God has a perfect plan in place for our future, even though it is scary and depressing right now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)